The Chinese version is after the English one.
中文版本在英文版本下。
One time during a spiritual reflection, while my heart was under the weight of intense pain, I thought, “I need to vent, maybe I should set God aside. If the loving and perfect God stands before me, where is the space for my sorrow and suffering to flow?”
Then, another voice in my spirit told me, “No, the Lord will gaze upon your pain.”
Indeed, why don’t I present my wounds in the sacred gaze of God’s mercy?
Jesus died and, after resurrection, showed himself to the disciples, allowing them to see and touch the nail scars on his hands and the wounds on his side. Although Jesus probably no longer feels the same pain after resurrection, this is enough to let us know today: his pain was truly and definitively present.
Sin entered the world, and the world, not under God’s divine will, generates various torments. The line between heaven and hell can be thin, and God seems almost “absent.” In the gaze of God the Father, the help of the Holy Spirit, and the presence of Christ, God himself has experienced various pains. He not only allows suffering to occur and personally feels human pain but also enters the time and space of “God’s absence”, how paradoxical!
Therefore, when I enter moments of depression, distress, darkness, and pain, the radiance of peace, joy, faith, and wisdom may be overshadowed but doesn’t necessarily disappear. Love is profound, allowing all these contradictions to coexist while its essence remains strong and steadfast.
The Kingdom of heaven is within my heart, starting as a small seed of faith. As it sprouts and grows, it becomes enough to support my entire life. Even if unseen or if reality appears contrary, or if other forces try to pull me away, that root still connects to the heart of a loving God. Even if clouds darken the sky, above them, the unchanging sun still shines, casting its light into eternity.
Photo Credit: Raymond Wong
有一次靈修的時候，心裡正受著疼痛壓迫，想著：「我需要宣洩，不如先放下上帝。如果讓慈愛、全善的神站在面前，那我的悲傷和痛苦哪裡還有流淌的空間呢？」
然後，靈裡有另一把聲音告訴我：「不是的，主會凝視你的痛楚。」
是呢，為何我不把血疤呈靈在神聖憐憫的凝視之中呢？
耶穌受死，復活之後，向門徒展示自己，就是讓他們觀看、觸摸他手上的釘痕和肋旁被刺穿過的傷痕。雖然，復活後的耶穌大概已不再疼痛了，但這足以讓今天的我們知道：他的痛楚是何等真實確切地存在。
罪進入了世界，人的世界不願被上帝掌管，生成各種的折磨，人間和地獄，可以只是一線之差，上帝仿如「缺席」。在父上帝的注視、聖靈的幫助、基督親自臨在下，神自己切身嘗盡百樣的痛苦，祂不僅容許痛苦發生，也不僅自己去感受人的痛苦，而是神自己進入「上帝缺席」的時空，何等弔詭！
所以，當我進入抑鬱、困頓、黑暗、疼痛的當兒，平安、喜樂、信心、智慧的光芒可能被掩蓋，但並不一定此消彼長，而是時刻存在。愛到深邃，就是容許這一切矛盾存在，而本體依然結實穩固。
天國在我心，起始是微小的信心，但當發芽、長大，便足以支撐整個生命。即使看不見，或現實看似相反，甚或有別的力量扯我離開，那根，仍然連繫著慈愛的上帝之心，抬頭縱使烏雲密佈，雲上仍是不變的太陽，直照耀到永恆。
照片提供：Raymond Wong